Struggle

The struggle is getting me down.  Friction with my roommate. I woke up a blank slate and went die for fruit gummy candy from rhe snack machine and then for a cigsrette and when the man A. bummed a cigarette I blurted out what is always in my mind when i see him, “you’re a nice man,” I said and gave him the cugarette.  Well now He didnt ask for an opinion, dud he?  Several people in the smoke shack overheard.  How stupid.  It’s something my father would say, an Englishism.  He is a simple, quiet fellow who sits with me in the upstairs kitchen for meals and the last thing I need is to make it awkward, OR make him think he can always bum a cigarette.  Well, i thought, that was a lesson learned when i had to put out my second  cigarette and come in but i haven’t been able to let go of it.  It’s awfully hard to learn basic life lessons at this age (56). I can’t seem to get ahead.