More on Justice, Mercy

I see hiw my father deliberately, in desperation, played up the beating my mother took and the state i fell into after the overdose as an intractable illness requiring endless further hospitalization:  i had started talking to them about the sexual abuse.   He had a fragile new job in a new area, which he did end up losing.  (He thinks he quit.)  I had shown up at tbeir new home in a desperate condition.  He was scared.  Its always its the coverup thats as bad as the crime.

Thinking about it like this, i can forgive, hes a deperate old man, i dont think that he renembers half of what be did. Hes so into himself its all he knows.  In a sense hes an invalid like me, with the loss of a sense of smell and the inconspicuous but serious damage from the stroke.  He got lost in his mind.

I have to remind myself of this.