Lifelong trouble

I just processed that a significant part if my life trouble came from my imprinting on my black roommate my freshman year in high school at Wayland School.  I identified as black without realizing it, we were so close.  And then at the end of it she said i was prejudiced.  I was so confused.  I was insecure with white women because the white roommate i had after that mistreated me and i never got that straightened out.  I lived to make A’s, as Sarah, the black girl, had taught me, and the rest is the history if my life as i know it.  Here the roommate i had abused me and now i can say how: she preyed on my liw self-esteem to pass if sone i sanity that i should never had to lus ten to, it thrratened my mentsl bslance.  Whn i talked to C, the care coordinator about it, she treated me vadly, “hie dare you criticize this  respected long-standing resident?” Well excuse me but thus woman us deeply disturbed and i dont want to be drawn in by her.  Niw i have to leave.  Thanks a lot miss M.