O Canada!

my ex-husband is Canadian-born. But he grew up on a Canadian military base in Germany. Through marrying me and staying with me he gained Anerican citizenship. So he is a Canadian-American dual national, I was already an English- American dual national. My son is a Canadian-American dual national through his father and being born in America.

Alex’s mother’s first considered reaction to our betrothal was that he’d get steak knives for his inheritance if he married me. He sort of mumbled it and I didn’t know what it neant. Then she actually mailed us a set of steak knives in a block! I loved them! I thought it was a lovely gift!

From my point of view it was a shot-gun wedding over the abortion. I didn’t care much about her her point of view.

I talked with her and his father briefly over the phone from the apartment in Clear Lake City, Texas, it was more pathetic than embarrassing. Alex was ambivalent about going through with the ceremony at the judges quarters and threatened going back to Canada; but I knew he really didn’t want to and maybe couldnt have. He kept asking me when I was going to say yes and I couldn’t get my head around it. I had had an abortion with this person. For some reason I chose to cling to him and for some reason he let me. It was still processing in ways I didn’t understand at the time. Finally we had to tie the knot, or face consequences. As we were getting out of the car outside the Judge’s offices I said “we’ll do ìt for the Green Card” (work permit). I was having spasms and couldn’t hear what the Judge was saying. And the ring was too small. I had to grab it and force it on my finger myself.

Alex was happy with the ceremony. I wanted to cry when the judge ended with words about going back to our dwelling. We were living with cardboard boxes for furniture.

but there were ablot of th8ngs that were right abt us that ai didntn7nderstand at the time.

Alex said early on, if you’re older and seeking to marry, it’s best to do it fast, and I agreed. I had the weirdest problems; but he had a sister just a couple of years older than me living in Toronto who wasn’t so different from me. I do a lot better with Canadians and the English. Natalie and her mother thought I was just another American and made fun of “the English Mother” (my mother) and never understood the strength of my conviction that I was fundamentally English; until it was too late. She saw some pictures of my mother’s lovely home and saw that she had made a mistake.

so, when I got out of Horsham psychiatric hospital last (?) August?– the first coerced hospitalization–I was fighting for my safety here and I sent a bunch of letters to the NY Times Opinion Page and also to the NY Post. There were a few that were rude to the Canadian government and to certain people there, even my sister- in-law, I am deeply sorry for thisl. I was like a newborn with this weird mole removal transformation and my judgment was infantile.

I had some animosity towards beautiful Canada because of issues within my own family which was expressed extremely inappropriately and I do so apologize.

I would love to see a CanEnglAmerica pact or treaty for a force for order in the world and within our worlds.