prostitute

my father always made me feel like a prostitute.

I recently joind the METOO movement for that and other reasons

even today he comes looking for favors, he did it to me last night. In my head, when I was laying down in bed. It terrifies me to think that he would approach me physically some day and not understand “no.”

I said the wrong thing a couple of times when I was at the hospital recently and he got the wrong idea. He already thought this but this clinched it. In an effort to suggest that he seek female companionship in the wake of my mother’s death 2 1/2 years ago, I quoted what a mature woman, an Eastern European who was running a conference, said about sex in iur mature years. And she talked about aging and “getting your touch needs met.” I repeated the whole story to my father when I was on the second ward in Reading 6 monthg ago. He thought I was trying to seduce him. I was not. It is impossible to convince a man that you DO NOTwant have sex. They take any such mention as a come on. “I don’t want to have sex” just invites the question. Im sorry, not all men are that way.

I understand. He lost his wife, he’s bereft. He is very old. He doesn’t know who to turn to. In the mean time it is hard for me to cope, he wants to manage my MH care and that’s not right. There has been too much serious conflict.

I want to stay and live here, but he needs to stop acting prejudicially towards me and singling me out for abuse which IS what he does; making a joke about somebody seeking recovery after what I’ve been through– well that’s one thing, it helps to lighten it up a bit. But he is NASTY about it and basically has little understanding of me over the years. And he doesn’t understand the first thing about psych help. He needs it himself.