Specialness

when I lived here in the 80’s (I identified as Berks County), there were 4 diagnoses: major depression, manic depression, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder.

I always remember that poor fellow with horrible OCD being thrown out of the partial program that I was attending.

Since then, things have changed. But those memories are indelible.

so, I ended up moving out West where it was the opposite! Hollywood is in the market for the unique, the bizarre, and the downright weird. We were loved there, my ex and I.

On the way there we stopped in Texas to get married. Whether it was for the Green Card or not was okay by me. He had to stay in the marriage 2 years to get the permanent status. And I had noone else. A doctor there diagnosed me with likely Partial Complex Seizures.

then we had to leave town.

But then something curious happened. I got pregnant for the 3rd time and I was ready for it.

but I wasn’t. But I was. But I wasn’t…

and here I am some 28 years later, back in PA; for the last 9 years now; still trying to nail down the diagnosis.

and so is my child (finally free from worrying abt the diagnosis but living near me here in PA) where NOONE is allowed to be be special and it’s sort of a comfortable feeling. I’m gaining lost time by the minute for everything he and I went through, both as early mother and son and over the years. I give him his privacy now and pray for him to be well.

The immensity of the help I have received from him over the 3 decades warrants compensation.

specialness is like Fairness. Some people are more special than others. Its not always good to be special