last year, before the last year that I spent in the hospital, my father, who was in a strange state after losing my mother, was puttIng me through little poisonings, generally of take-home fast food. Once I woke up in the middle of the night with diarrhea and i heard him say t o me in my head, “I put laxatives in your ice tea.” I had left it out on the table in the entryway.
since then i have been paranoid of every possible kind of poisoning. The worst is poisoning by thoughts of death. You can think yourself Into a morbid state that is hard to get out of without help if you dwell on thoughts of suicide or dying.
all I’m looking for is safe passage. Online, at the supermarket, on the road. I haven’t had that fo the longest time.
there are so many dangers and for me there are so many within.
Un.Bon.Mot 