in the Catholic church it is grave sin, in other words, mortal sin. My best guess is that that means you die of it; regarding Heaven and Hell I don’t know.
first of all, I am the WORST Christian. I came to it through t he back door, through terror of Satan, and don’t have any proper faith formation but for the last four years when I got baptismal counseling and got baptized, that would mean I have the Holy Spirit and can risk talking on this subject.
yesterday I think, I realized that all those years it was not Satan Himself I was dealing with but the antiChrist, or AN antiChrist–through listening to the Book of Revelations sung aloud with the London Symphony Orchestra, it’s such a beautiful way to take it in; I understood, I pray I have this right that there are many anti-Christs at the end. I don’t know if this is the End or not, but I know that I was dealing with a violent force in my home in Florida before 2012; and it is only now coming off of me here in familiar PA 10 YEARS LATER.
They put it on me at Wernersville State Hospital. During my recent, year- long psych stay in Reading and way out in the Lebanon area, I was fighting back. I had naively assumed that these ill, homeless people were also helpless and couldn’t help themselves when in fact they were cracking jokes behind my back. I was handing out candy and cigarettes as well as sex, well that was only 4 people (only???!!!). My parents were letting me, in fact, obviously, they were funding it. Meanwhile they had had me declared indigent. A ward of the state. I got a copy of the paperwork.
what was I supposed to talk about? Oh yes, masturbation. It is a sick, nasty habit. Don’t do it. I quit in 2003 after the first hospitalization in Tampa.
I’ve talked about this a lot but there is a slant on it in my case that makes it an issue of public concern.
I’ve also talked a lot about the sexual injury I experienced in the ICU when I was 24, which would be 1986. I’ve been stuck there ever since. It amounted to sexual torture for I don’t know how many hours and I almost died but then I didn’t. And nobody knew what to do.
This has stayed covered over all these years, even within my own mind there buffers.
but the pain is there, covered over. And through masturbation it was transmitted to others because of the horrific images in my mind
it’s been a long time and I am getting better.
God is Love. God cares. God has a plan.
it occurred to me last night that the physical injury even before the experience in the ICU, the being kneed in the crotch by my brother, as well, could be responsible for a pandemic of erectile dysfucyion. Not that I would know. I have gone into complete latency sexually, the parts are more or less erased.
Un.Bon.Mot 