Abortion

I remember looking up at my brother Steven as we were standing on the beach in Cape May. At that time I didn’t know what the feeling was. TERRIFIED; he was the father of my child. It’s finally coming out. We were in the boat. They had me drive. I felt like everybody could see into me– like the girl at the Charter Hospital in Rockville, that was much later on. I drove 5he boat up onto the mudflats.

The men were going in and out of her room. Someone said in the morning, when she was standing right there, “She’s pregnant.” You could just tell.

it was the same with Steven.

I’ve been stalled out on this ever since, like everything was a heavy dark cloud between me and my life.

now I see it. I really did have an abortion at 13. My father always keeps records so he probably has them.

I remember going to a clinic in Reading for a free ob/gyn 3xam back in the 80’s and he said I had a prolapsed uterus and asked had I ever been pregnan and I said I don’t know and he said thats ridiculous.

I was in a place where i had been through so much trauma in my life I was just frozen. Nobody “got” me.

I am learning to honor my father and mother as i grow in the Catholic Christian faith. Through listening to Spirit FM in Florida, a Catholic radio station, I learned some things about how to live life. More than this, I started to read the Bible in its entirety. Fot simple advice ahout life!!! That i didnt get in any other wa

y.tyrb3d to 5he hibebin my despe4ationbive4 our homelike v and v also 5he c abor5iobs.

I used to fear them. Sharon in Summit brought that out in a horrible and dangerous way.

then I went through a long period where I feared generally and disdained my parents.

they were just so ignorant of Americwn law and culture and didn’t see how what they were doing 2as playing out.

I can’t bear to tell the tale.

I love my son Ian and that’s all I need to know. Because others cut the cord in so many ways all along. I myself feared and doubted my own love for him. But after all this it’s coming back.

whether I turn to traditional prayer, the help of angels and saints, or THE HELP OF ALIENS please do not disdain a mothers love for her child.