Then, there’s the physical pain, largely unreported.
it started with Chelsea, last week.
she gave me cortisone shots for my knees.
I am largely out of torturous agony for the first time in 25 years.
it affected my whole body. There’s a story there about falling on my knees,
over and over.,
Sle,ep has been an agony for decades
There’s another tale to tell about flipping over and landing on my head on a tile floor by the front door in Seminole. Because I was tasered. For years I had the feeling of electrical spasms running through my body. I just had to lay down on the couch for half an hour until it passed. Then there was a specific moment not that long ago when it went off me. But my thoughts are still blocked. I cant remember things in sequence for years surrounding that time.
I have been hobbling since we moved to Maryland in 1995. I had spasms in my right leg and it hurt my foot to walk. I plowed through the grass up to the shops, walking although I really couldn’t. That set the tone. It got worse and worse doing what I had to do to do my part of being Ian’s Mom.
My eyes were damaged. I freaked out because they were spasming. Someone behind the counter at the pharmacy here in PA at that time said “she really LOOKS crazy.” For years I have been unable to make eye contact. It was from OCD-related wipng at my eyes.
my fingernails failed at the same time, from not trimming them I was in the hospital so long. They got flaky and weak and never came back.
from 2003 until 2015 I suffered unrelenting, desperate constipation. I finally got help here in 2018 at EPGI in Allentown but it has been an issue again recently.
my feet feel like they have broken bones in them and I have pain in my ankles,
the one thing I got help for in Florida was 5he curvature in my spine (likely from the epidural in childbirth) and a compression in my neck. The doctor explained that a compression is like a pinched nerve.
and there is so much more to say- like about the weird protruberence of my belly that just wouldn’t go away, and finally has. Still figuring this one.
glad to have a little peace and privacy to get this out there today.
Un.Bon.Mot 