gaslighting

I just looked up the meaning of this expression the other day .and I finally understand what has going on.

Its a specialized form of harassment and persecution.

I just looked it up again to be sure of myself.

it is of concern to the American Psychological Assocation and it is described as the manipulation of a person into doubting their own beliefs, perception, or understanding of things.

Obviously that’s me. My own family has been doing it to me since i as a small child and the humiliation I experienced as an adult when I was on a psych ward and they pulled this shit was criminal. Everything that came out of my mouth was deemed “odd” or delusional or simply untrue. That was mostly my mother but my father was doing it too. I was being slowly groomed for today. The day they take me out.

a little humility would solve the whole problem.

if Dad could just TRY to listen a little about the wart-mole simplex being taken off my face

and the organic personality disorder and how thats controlled now, we could all be in a much better place.

I was born a little weird and my gender identity, among other things, was affected. My mother hated me. They were too young to know what to and they were young in a foreign land.

I’m able to forgive them now but I have some mental restraining orders against each of them in my head that will stay there.

already had one against my sister ( per discussion with staff. ) But im bad about that, I’m always breaking it myself. It doesnt feel as dangerous to me now. Ohhh, but I know that it is.

so, why do people do it? (“Gaslighting.”) I am new to my son’s generation. I have been stuck in the 80s. I’m creeping out from under that rock now and looking around a little. Right now it’s the Lamictal overdose in Nov 2016 (my own). I’ve been held in a thrall that I am starting to come out of and the upshot is that my whole life seems about to be coming together in the most peculiar way. I may not have long to live. I’ve taken such a beating. I want to be fixing it for me to have a little joy before I go and to leave my son in a good place.

that’s all.