I grieve for my father and the life that we had. I grieve for the person, the man that he was. We sacrificed. Because he was doing things that were important.
Hopkins trashed all that.
my father offered to punch me and my mother picked up Ian and fled here to the cottage where I am now.
while my father made a distance between us by going out to the bonfire fit.
That was about the end of everything.
I had problems with “posturing” and “freezing” which I could not control.
after almost 30 years this problem is fading.
Dr Lipsey took a similar attitude, this problem made him angry and he said so.
He said he started dreading to talk with me about 40 minutes before he came to do so.
he was saved by his rotation ending. There would be another doctor coming in, a woman, a Canadian.
except she failed to show for 2 weeks for personal reasons.
it ended there, it is not even worth talking about 5he rest of this. I got out of there with help of the social worker because I had an 11 month old baby waiting and I had already been left wandering around there for 2 weeks without an Attending Physician.
all I know is that I just knew my father couldn’t let go of the image of punching me. There was a weird, negative synergy there which formed the underpinning if the next 27 years. Somewhere in those moments I was marked for suffering. And ostracized from my family. Who, at the same time, kept a steady presence.
Dr, Simpson, the 2nd Attending, said I was a sick person. My mother took that as a criticism.
Next thing I know I was living in Maryland, near DC. And something horrible happened.
the rest has been told.
so, the next step is the 3 Trillion dollar lawsuit for the damage and suffering of my father.
my mother makes her own trouble for herself and others.
what happened to my father was shocking.
I had a father who I loved and supported regardless of what may have happened.
now he goes around town making fun of me and treating me like dirt. He used to be so brilliant and distinguished and kind. After his own fashion.
Dad, quit this.
I don’t want to die, Dad. I don’t want to be mercy-killed.
Un.Bon.Mot 