HARD TIMES

I had the worst time in my life over the Charcoal + constipation incident. Something so frightening and so horrible happened to me. I wound up on a bed somewhere st LVH Cedar Crest behaving in a bizarre way and yelling and screaming. It was so raw.

Im not going to try to explain except to say that liquid charcoal for an overdose and chronic constipation don’t mix. Further explanation would be disgusting except to note ME, ON MY KNEES in the bathroom on the psych ward leaning on the toilet bowl saying, “Life’s a bitch.”

somehow life has drawn me to my knees in so many senses, sometimes voluntary, sometimes not. Suffice it to say that a truly lovely doctor gave me cortisone shots in both knees a couple of weeks ago and I am 70% pain free all over my body.

so, Life’s a bitch.

I am holding on hard and tight to what’s left of my life. I have two more significant medical appointments coming up in the next month and I am praying for further reprieve and asking others to pray for me to lift me out of the “pit” I’ve been in for forty yeas because of bad psychiatry.

The Book of Job was the one part of the reading in the Bible that I did read in English class in high school. I skipped class for a month while the others read the other assigned parts. I had little other formal religious formation but i picked things up along the way. My High School was religiously based so they would hate to hear me say that. I had the code and the tone, but no understanding at all. I had a terror of religion because ofhow my father had presented it at home when I was younger.

so, I guess I got some of the info I needed for my own particular life. I wasn’t able to work a job but I had the life of JOB.

but, now it has to turn around, according to that Biblical analogy. All the suffering, pure pain and anguish.

please , Lord, let this be done!