tasering

please note. It 8s

my father wasn’t much help to me with Ian when he was a child, but the real issue between me and him was the physical damage to me. I dont think he did any physical harm to ian whatsoever. But he bullied him.

What we all are experiencing now was in the making then.

I was way out of line as a mot her. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be good to him: I was handicapped in a way even I didn’t completrly understan as I now do.

my father can be very immature but he had no way to understand organic personality disorder. It’s a tough one.

he just ought not to have been so mean.

oh, by the way, I’m came to that conclusion myself. I had thought it before. But the “wart-mole” lesion gave proof positive as it slowly wove out of my system and my psyche over 15 months. I amv beginning to be used to it now. The healing. Still some issues there.

oh, before that I had become disabled by the tasering . That was pretty crude and pretty raw and the deputies wouldnt admit to it! Nobody saw it! They were all standing outside in the driveway.

then I spent 18 days at PEHMS; too long a story to tell all over again.

then there was the shock therapy after a severe overdose. Somehow I lived, I was changed after that. I was afraid I would never be released..

I was hearing weird music The doctor said it was brain damage. He also expressed that he was sad for me that I had only one child.

a Jaguar; top flight, having to cope with me when he needed to find his own help.

represents me after the rape. After the woods. God with me.

it brought out the ” ghoul” that I became inside after the torture in the ICU in 1986. I dont know why I was calling everything an epiphany. It just sounded right.