extermination

I just figured out the word for what my father wants to do to me. He hates me. And has since the moment I was born.

all this, point, everything that’s going down, is because of his naive immaturity. He’s still the same at 90.

He needs to go away for a little while, just as I did.

Actually the bassinette was white but that wouldn’t have shown.

my mother’s friend Noni helped with some things; she had a couple of little girls

she had a mentally sister and she and my mother lived to bully me over it so we never hit it off.

Ian had a playpen from her too and we loved that.

that was one of the sick things that prevented me from going to the funeral forvmy mother (or is she still living)?

st the lunch at Wegmans just after sh passed my father used the word institutionalized and let me know that my sister and Noni were havng lunch in State College (where Penn State is.) A wave of terror passed through me.

I hid, and then I ran.

My son still may not be over this.

my father’s words for me: disgusting. IT. Who cares. Public nuisance.

I am an invalud struggling all my life just to stay living and I look HORRIBLE now. The gang rape did sonething to erase m6 face. As always I can’t get rid of this weight.

There are still things I want, need, and desire and I am owed what it will take to make it come true.