Missing my ex

it took 10 years to be out of the relationship. I needed to change.

I sent him emails every day and asked if it was okay. Every 3 months or so I got a one- word reply: “Yes.”

but I was very ill.

I had a relationship in college that scratched the surface of where Sandy took me. I began to learn through it how NOT to treat a man. When I met Sandy the FIRST thing on my mind was not to hurt this person . He was a sensitive, deeply intelligent man. Who’s the band who sings “reach out, touch faith.” The song was playing on his CD player in the truck when we were stuck at an intersection. That was here, 32 years ago. He was so different from anyone else I had ever met.

Nothing went right. We were the best- made relationship ever to fail so badly.

where he had Germany and the Autobahn, I had Kent School on a mountaintop where we had our own winter time zone. lol!!! We didn’t set our clocks back for reasons of maximizing sports practice timing. Where he had Canada, I had England. We both had brother-sister issues, and that’s one place where things began to look problematical. His sister got mad when we met because I didn’t well handle her very large stature. My brother embarrassed me horribly by being rude.

like me, Sandy was the legitimate graduate of a highly regarded University in Canada with some complications including a passionate relationship with someone else that hadn’t really gone out of the picture yet. She was in Canada. We were in the US. I was an IV League graduate WHO HAD ENDED UP AT THE STATE HOSPITAL!!! He was “UNB mafia;” (school if geodetic engineering.) I was Harvard “Advocate,” I had been on the literature and arts magazine.

well we pooled our resources and everything fit just right but there was something just horribly, horribly wrong.

His mother was the same as me: first generation Canadian with parents from Great Britain. I was the same except in America.

it is my mission this week to pin down this problem to be free of the old Sandy and Lynne and released to be who we are now, as our son, Ian, is able to cope with this now.