Sorting things out today. Remembering how he forced me off of my faith. Saying that when I said “jesus” all the time it was just a mantra. This was at Memorial Hospital in Tampa. Im sure people remember, even though it was in 2003.
I made a spectacle of myself on his psych ward because of how ilI I was. That was the main thing. My case was just so serious he didn’t know what to do for me. But he TRIED. And made a reputation for himself after that for taking on the serious cases that nobody else wanted to see. That he had a way with us.
and he did.
because the Zyprexa wasnt working for me and one day I just stopped it and refused to go back on it. Somebody called me “odd,” i knew it was the med so i decided to stop taking it and I did stop feeling odd but my OCD (at least, that’s what I call it) worsened., I’m using my faith today to talk about it in a way i couldnt then. I was still a new Christian and he daunted me somewhere in my mind untiI right now.
what did he know about it? He’s Jewish.
so i just dumped all that 19 years of bizarre psysobabble with this person legally introduced to my head without recourse for me. A therapist or psychiatrist just stays there when its done, a presence to guide and comfort you. I never had that–oh yes, I did. I had one in Florida who worked with me over 4 years. And then I drifted off of him and ran into another who nobody could chase down, he had Authority, and helped us through all those crazy years…I saw hIm for 6 years after getting rid of Feldman and for six years, well…I was very ill with the monster constipation and hs major goal was to get me showering EVERY DAY. That never happened except for a few short periods of time, but he also stabilzed me as a mother and a wife until i was ready to get out of there…
to a safer climate and loction and Ian is already here already and Sandy is welcome.
so, Feldman kept me living for about 3 years when nobody else would see me. You get used to that in the MH World.
so, I have to thank everybody in Florida who helped. Im getting better by the minute, PHYSICALLY as well as emotionally.
it was a SIN to take that overdose in 2016 and i won’t be doing that again. I am embarrassed and ashamed.
Un.Bon.Mot 