My father is thrilling but also dangerous and deadly.

He misses the days when people were in awe of his mental powers.

90 must be hard.

Getting to know my keyboard.

My sister, on the other hand, was never thrilling. She came into this world by killing my cat and the kittens were all gone within a few month. I probably had hatred toward her. It was such a normal part of my life for me that I didn’t think anything about it. My brother had hatred for me for spoiling things and being being a embarrassing pain in the ass. He felt responsible. My sister, on the other hand, carved a big slice out of family life without my even knowing it.

She ALWAYS hated me

Even my son slid down off my leg when I tried to put him on my knee.

It’s organic personality disorder. I think that every case is unique. I am experiencing so much relief at this finally coming out after all these years. I first through of it in Florida when I encountered someone who had that diagnosis. I looked it up and it seemed to fit. Me.

I am not dangerous.

If something happened to the world balance because of my wild posting here this time last year about STOPPING nuclear holocaust I don’t know what to say it was not my intent.

With the wart-mole lesion removed from my face everything changed and I lost all my boundaries. It took since last June when the minor surgery was done to remove it; until now, to have my self-control back. Everybody has forgotten “THE CLAW” on the Pagoda Unit. Or at least I did. I was really scared that I would not get my basic self-control back but I did, I have, It’s here, it’s now. That was a part of the metamorphosis that will never have to happen again, and everything that followed, the same.

I am a new person. From the person I was for 59 years. I felt at the time that they kept me too long at Haven. Same with Philhaven. But, one way or another it is all going to get worked out. Things happened here just as they needed to. I think I jumped right into sorting out the mess in here the day I got home. I know I spent 6 hours. It was defeinitely necessary to go just as it did to reprieve that exact problem, the having to stay too long where I was starting to corpse. I use that as a verb. just my body laying in a dark room because my roommate preferred the lights OFF ALL DAY LONG. Then, at the end they were dimming the lights in the main area. I can’t stand that. I need bright light.

So, I’m out. That’s all I have to say.

Please believe me that whatever you see going on here is not Lynne needing to be committed as my father is continuing to say as far as I can say. He plays it close to the chest. I am released from a lifetime of suffering and I want to live. The Lord gave me one year ten months and two weeks, roughly, to live. I think that was around September of last year. I didn’t know if it had started yet and I still don’t. HE said some other things (the LORD). I am working on them. Trying to figure them out, I have heard it said, actually it is in the Bible, that generally the Lord speaks to us in riddles, on the most important prophets actually talked with Him but I do hear Him and everybody says they do. Maybe because of the Cross.

But as for me, I am bewildered and have been for along time about certain instructions I had and how they are working out so differently from how I expected if at all. Well, I started this pregnancy surrogacy. And there was the ALIEN.

So that’s me, today.

Somewhat bewildered.

But holding on to the promises.

Dunno