Then, I spent weeks writing about eight applications to all the top colleges. It was a work of love. I sent them just a few days before the due date which was January 1st. And I attached the essay to every one regardless of the question.
The Yale interviewer said Yale probably wouldn’t take me but Harvard would. That Harvard takes odd and strange people, who are just so bright they have to be supported. That was me. I went there to be among other hyperintelligent people. Other people didn’t, but I always knew that I was extremely brilliant. And it was funny how this pretty little girl writing beautifully struck people, as, in contrast, I didn’t really take care of myself. And i was smoking 2 packs a day. I didn’t know anything about the American college system and, unfortunately, neither did my father, who was educated as a scholarship student at a lesser level university in England and I believe that this is his problem with me.
He just didn’t know. What was going on with me and what I was going through. I had gotten involved with a fast crowd. He knew to tell me to accept the invitation to run for President of the Advocate. I was so desperate over it. Now I wonder whether that was just a joke or something to say when the person there who I had this fantastic crush on wouldn’t let me say no. That was how it felt. Were they just doing the opposite and trying to scare me off? I wasn’t really their type. Today, I celebrate that time because it was good for me and good for them. I needed to get into a physically, mentally, and emotionally proactive situation to save my life. Over sitting around in the dining room in my residential house smoking cigarettes, reading turn of the century literature. I wanted to quit school but I had no place to go. I loved the building, a little one on a side road among the residential houses.
Anyway thats like a ball of wool right now. I could weave it a number of ways, but the most proactive is to point out that 40 years later I know my status correctly, I was hi-tech. I knew, but I didn’t. Nothing was ever said about it. I had just completed my brilliant program generating essays on input poetry. The tech crowd wanted me to be a TA (Teaching assistant) the following year and I knew that I couldn’t do that, the thought scared me to death. Everyone was asking me the unpleasant question, what are you doing here? Start making your way here (at Harvard) or get lost. Now, I’m understanding it better myself.
I fled to being President of the Advocate. My ex-boyfriend told me the organization was in trouble.
All I have to say now is that I had a business to be there because of my hi-tech understanding which was so weird and intense. I didn’t fear the computer, I had grown up with it. And yes, the Lord is leaning this way for me to tell you something: Yes.
This person had an acuity for language and numbers that was strange but it opened up a new chapter in Language AI and the Advocate can just stuff it for not handling the situation better at the time.
****THE LORD HAS SPOKEN****
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So, I’m off of the Advocate, The Crimson, and the Lampoon after 40 years. That war can end.
They talk about the Albatross of having gone to Harvard.
That was mine.
I realize—with the help of MY SON—that I was CALLED to be “President of the Harvard Advocate.” Through it I was led to Christianity, not directly. It was a seque to the fast oncoming impact of the hi-tech world on how we do just about anything–even literature. That’s what they got. I found my talent and/or fascination with organizational politics. I made mistakes all over the place over the elections for the following years’ boards. But it was still a lot of fun compared to reading stuffy old literature and changed my life. I was very sorry and scared over what a friend told me I had done wrong. I have just had to live with it. There was one particular person who was stupidly harmed and I worried about that for decades but I met with him in my mind during the 2nd Horsham Hospital stay, when I was on top of things. He had some profoundly important words for me about politics and I clung to them.
Sometimes i look at myself and see Forrest Gum (from the movie by that name.) Maybe everyone is like that in their own way. We are fragile containers. I am getting ready to reflect God’s light. In whatever way he guides me. I just pray I stay living long enough to do this. By the will of God.
Un.Bon.Mot 