The truth

…is always better than a lie.

my spirit:

thats my spirit, Reading PA, 1987, so hungry and thin i was about to die. My parents made me a ward of the state. In two years i had fourteen admisions to R-1 psych ward at the Reading hospital and several more to Saint Jos in Reading. And 3 separate admissions adding up to 17 months over a period of 2 yeats at the state hospital.

i had zero fund of information. It went out of me with what i now call the “ghoul epiphany” which was the torture in the ICU and what followed. Nobody wanted to tell me what happened. I had intimations. They started coming through to me as i stopped talking to my parents and started talking to Alex. I dont want to say a lot about this right now. Just that the last 2 1/2 years have been such an unbelievable healing from and for so many things.

All is forgiven. Please forgive me also.

i have organic personality disorder et cetera et cetera et cetera.

i am still living andraing for a reprive from Gods life sentence of AROUND 1 year 10 months and 2 weeks. That was around a year ago. ” AND THERE WILL BE NO REPRIEVE.” Im wondering and praying and hoping now that that was an in invitation to me and others to realize how sick I was and to PRAY FOR ME and for ME TO PRAY FOR MY SELF TO LIVE. After all that suicidal ideation.

leaving that on a note of uncertainty…