In the hospital…

for Martin Luther King Day this year.

I was afraid here the year before because I have experienced negativity toward my old policy to always show love to a black person for all they have gone through historically and in the present.

I HAVE begun to understand how, as we slowly mature with regard to the history, in the wake of President Obama, it would feel offensive to be treated in such a way.

Please understand that as the weirdo I was with my undiagnosed organic personality disorder and other issues that I had a lot of help from both black men and black women in my life and only wanted to help.

But there is one good deed I did that I wanted to mention because it should start now.

I did it in Easton when I was living there BRIEFLY in 2012 to 2013 and wonder whether it would be valid.

I was listening to the “I Have a Dream” speech on the computer and wondering what a white person is supposed to do on Martin Luther King Day and at that time, when I was extremely physically ill and scared living in one of the worst parts of town because I had to get in somewhere quick, I decided to reach out with this, I put a 5 dollar bill in an envelope and wrote on the envelope that it was “a return on the promissory note, the bad check” and I wrote Happy Martin Luther King Day and I left it in their mailbox. The Black couple two doors down.

I had just divorced my husband in Florida where the race issue was so intense, and moved here to PA. If I had had a 100 to spare I would have given it but I didn’t.

I dunno, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

But things were changing then and things are continuing to change now and I haven’t been following the news closely and I don’t know how to view that. I pulled a couple of other weird moves in my next location in Allentown when I fled Easton because the nun I was seeing while I was there encouraged me to call children’s services on the young family upstairs with one small child.

Trying to figure all this stuff.

Maybe randomly giving away money to the inheritors of slavery wouldn’t work in the current status of the race situation but it is food for thought and I can only pray that I am not offending anybody by saying this.