My father and I had Christmas dinner together this afternoon. It was a lovely dinner, samon, red potatoes and mixed vexetables. with a small glass of white wine.
There has been a problem since I was 17. That’s 44 years.
Kind’a like the Oprah Winfree character in th Color Purple. or the girl in the Boges short story who burned hergrandmogther’s housedown and had to sell her body to make a living for them.
It was a shit happenes onebt in a life that noone had touched and it lasted until today.
Noone could hadke it, I couldn’t be touched, seen, or talked to. I was isolated from solcial events, family events.
anywya. There was nothing that could be donw. What happened embedded itself in my actrive organic personality disorder problems in a way that couldn’t be helped. and it has toaken all that time in therapy and fake counseloing –one therapist early on called it a “band aid treatment– for me to piece it all together myself. Therappists got angry and accusatory or preyed upon me.
Anywaym, I have been working on this, and MY SON has been, all his life.
It’s all coming out i the works.
I was in so much trouble.
Today I praise God as never before. and, although it has come late in my life, the blessed assurance of his lovingkindness and is beginning to appear to me. as I continue to pray and look and love at me and my son and all the other relationships in this family and with an eye to understand m solvem and heal.
Un.Bon.Mot 