re: abortion
After a while we forget in our conscious minds but its still there. Like right mow as um thinking back, co oaratively healed, it took 48 years for the youngest, i am gushing tears. Not literally. Before I couldnt express feelings at all. Bottled up rage and pain.
the issue is still how to heal not only rhe lost child, for those who ate Cjrust or orhers whio believe in an afterlife; the mother; her born childen; the extended family, the community, the entire fabric of society with all the millions, (?)billions? Of holes in it worldwide across all cultures and classes; it is literally rippig us to pei ces. It is better now that we can cry. The monzter Roe v Wade that said we could t and said rhat we couldnt look into it or study it to see what was really go on and make an educated “choice.” Young girks tou young for a drivers license were forced to sign yes or no fo you want an abortio . It was the last question on the form.
i was 29 but i had one that i had blocked out when i was 13 and didnt figure it out until recently.
it was so complicated because I DID have a disabling and obscure mental and personality disorder called organic petsonality disorder which can take many faces; which i was born with.
it needs looking into.
honest doctors i talked to said that that they just couldnt diagnose me. I had learned to cover so welĺ. But they had to for the insurance company in order to get paid and there were strict and particular requrementments. Organic personality disorder is in the book but nobody goes there. How i presented after 12 years in the system including an evisceral injury in the ICU after a minor overdose of some psych meds was terrifyng to others as well as myself; as I have said. They were scared to say. There had already been talk of the state hospital because ny family didnt want me at their new home (here) in the condition i was in. They were strangers in a tight nit community.
So, i was living wifh desperate physical, SEXUAL harm but i was maininstreamed into thd MH Community, in other words, the state hospital. As a recent Haevarorderexd Graduate It was necessary. I have written about being the ghoul at that time and others afterward; about the “ghoul epiphany”– whatever that means: i wasnt sure myself.
I had a friend who talked about eating grass he was so hungry. I had een so hungry in Ca bridge i went to the dining room at M.I.T. where i had fa mily friends and orddfsd a plate of lettucr.
#SMOKE BREAK
Im back…
im working with a horrible neck ache,
so;
thay was all for my father. I will send it to him. He thinks ihad it easy,
Un.Bon.Mot 