bobbie

did you save my life or betray me at the worst moment?

i went to that new years eve party with rhe worst motive.

and i doubted that it would be satisfied,

then you kissed me under the missletoe and said youd come to my house.

I left the party thinking nothing would happen.

when i got home Steven and Donna were there. They were both drunk. I told Stevn “Dad tried to touch my breasts.” He turned away and went into his bedroom with Donna.

i got undressed and went to bed. Tben Bobbie showed up. Later i heard rhat John was outside in the driveway below the French door wndows.

i dont want to talk about what happened only that i didnt get what i thought i wanted which was a penis in my vagina. Bobbie was a good friend of tbe whole famiky and wasnt about to take that risk.

i was ashamed and embarrassed. We fell asleep in tbe nude. My parents came back an hour later and threw hin out. We were borh completely inebriated. He had no idea of what had happened with my father.

…

these experiences with men havs shaped my sexual lufe mkst deeple, the knes j have been oosrpting about in the last week ir so. There us anorher whose friend has been so profound. I jhst dont want to talk about it

i anticipate that in some way or another i will be blogging for the next few days about Sandy and our son, Ian.