an undergraduate literature literary magazine held as sacred to those who belong or follow.
i was a member for about two months and then was asked to run tor”President. Not “Editor,” but “President.” That was how the Executive Board was run. My immediate reaction was, “Of course not.” Then, when i was truly desperate, Adam and i were sitting at a table in the Quincy House dining room drinking coffee and i said, “I’m a joker. I cant do this.” But there was no reprieve. He left and i knew rhere was no hope. I tried to justify it in so many ways. Even just to put my feelings into words.
i had been given an offer i couldnt refuse.
i had just broken up with a boyfriend, i wasnt up to it.
i was dealing with two major stresses (the above) at the same time, a situation i never handle well.
but the real problem also twofold, was that i found that i couldnt write while being in that position and, second, related, it destroyed my personaliy.
i felĺ to pieces and i never came back. I lived out the year as best as I could and then went home on a mandatory leave of absence which I also requested.
20 odd years later they put out the 2 volume Harvard-wide directory. Because of my Freshman year roommate who inversely stalked me as such until I was leaving half way senior year, when my time at the Advocate was done, and did the same in Maryland in 1985 to 1986 afyer my son was born in Buffalo, New York, where I tried to teach her; well, that was all a horrible MESS. Because of HER. and in Maryland I started contacting eveyone I had ever known very inappropriately.
So this 2 volume Harvard Directory represented a horrible danger for me.
Fortunately i was away when it arrived and Sandy (my ex) disposed of it. I never asked. It was a horrible but necessary reprieve.
so if anybody ever wondered about that, that is what happened,
Un.Bon.Mot 