Don’t forget, there are also as many angels, and from this planet alone, how many saints in Heaven and secretly, silently still on Earth?
So, whether you are a believer in aliens or not, either way you are covered whether you are like it or not.
The only problem you face is the stark one of the reality of Hell.
What makes me sad is that I won’t see my own favorite people in Heaven–if I make it there and they do too–in the same way I do on Earth. It has been such an incredible struggle to get to the point of feeling like a human being among other human beings. I was a little girl in my mind among my “book friends” (quote from Helen Keller), relating to authors instead of people and feeling like a person among fictional heroes. I couldn’t really even talk sanely or sensibly and the state hospital Lodge Program WAS the right place for me back in the mid-eighties BUT NOT NOW. PLEASE DON’T SEND ME BACK THERE AGAIN.
Now, I read online for information and enjoy writing in a way that I never did before. I can keep up with my thoughts on this laptop. It’s a little like the piano though, I didn’t play for so long that the music went out of my fingers, I tried back in Florida on the electronic keyboard my mother sent me and I just couldn’t get beyond a few basic songs and the beginnings of a few old classic pieces. Nothing. Dead. The music is gone. I bought TWO guitars, a junior one for Ian. But I was afraid to take him to the music studio in town because I would be dunned there and he wouldn’t be welcomed. It such a sad moment for us. At some point I said the worst thing to him and I just don’t know what made me do it. I said he was tone deaf. His voice was in a warbly stage. So he stopped singing. And so did I. Years later, one of the main reasons I just can’t go to church was that I can’t sing the hymns! Before, it was the one thing that held me there. I have no singing voice at all any more.
I rationalized that his father would not have condoned something so frivolous as music lessons. His father was a war hero. And his Uncle. I couldn’t see my son regularly practicing in our disorganized home. But he might have. It might have been a great joy for him. I learned to sing and play the piano at a young age, it gave me great pleasure over the years. My brother Steve learned to play the guitar and played almost professionally and never really climbed onto the “real work” ladder.
Maybe he was meant to sing alien music, Oh, so beautiful. And then I’m thinking well, maybe what happened is exactly part of that process of developing ET music oh oh
Before I was telling him he was going to be a saint, now, an angel. I’m reasoning that you can’t realize that you can’t really be born an alien because wherever you are born is your country of origin, and planet of origin. I pray that that was not troubling him.
So, be welcoming the aliens in your homes. I would guess that they are ready to greet you in a form that makes them as familiar as possible.
Here, the dust bunnies were thicker that you would believe and I just walked by them. There are two cats living here and they create a lot of mess if they are not well attended. And I was too old and tired and sick to handle this place. But today I jumped up out of bed and I was strong again.
I AM CLEANING! It’s a historic moment. I never learned.
But it’s something every woman knows by instinct and my instincts, which appeared to be sadly lost, are gradually returning.
Maybe my father is getting his instincts messed up be seeing me laying around and not doing anything to help. It was because I just couldn’t. So, I told him we should drop the “You cooked, I clean” dinnertime policy. I will both cook and clean. After all I have been here for 8 months now and I am well enough now.
That’s it for now.
Oh, I never remember in these chaotic moments to mention Travis and Tanner, who prefer to be called by the names my son originally gave them when he rescued them from a big show staged by an animal shelter. They have been my constant companions as I went through the last 7 or 8 months since I got out of the hospital and have been with me here since 2018 when I was out of the hospital. They are very emotional cats and mostly very happy. Like me, they are moving into their senior moments. They don’t play like kittens any more!
Finally I have a responsibility that I can manage. My son was too much for me at the time and it was suffering on everybody. My psychiatrist in the Rockport area near D.C. defined stress as “having to do something that you cannot do.” I tried to resolve my issues that way but it didn’t work. But somehow or another we did make it through things and we are all here today as far as I know but I have heard something all day about something serious happening as I slept laid and hung around groggy that I haven’t been informed about it. so, I don’t know what it was or what comes next.
Un.Bon.Mot 