Corrections of Misperceptions

I was told that the MRI that I got recently showed massive arthritis.

I believe that that was untrue and in fact, the problem is deep and progressive atrophy.

It was already beginning when I was a child of 9 or 10 and all I did was lay around the house reading children’s books (and sometimes my father’s books). I started in 3rd grade (when I was 8) when I pulled a book off of the table outside the classroom and found instant bliss in reading and I didn’t stop until I left college at 23.

So my physical reality was the experience of eyes focused on black letters printed on a white page and a body numbly curled up on a chair or sofa in a familiar room. this could go on for 12 hours on a given day. No one supervised my reading as a child or young adult and I read some things that I shouldn’t have. These were early warning signs of a serious, serious problem. In England, reading good books was all the rage, so to my mother that was all to the good. I was increasing my vocabulary and learning. Unfortunately that just didn’t pass in the same way in America. I needed to be social and active and I wasn’t.

Well, I guess I’ve said the worst of this before. The main thing to establish is that the conditon is ATROPHY and not arthritis. And I think I have already expressed that the bent neck stems from my ex forcing me to crane my neck up to his ear to whisper fantasies to him in bed. Even though I begged him not to make me do that because it hurt in so many ways. It does’t make me look good but it is the truth. I’ll probably die of it.

I ask of you 100K, Alex, so I can live out the rest of my time in dignity. It’s all I ask.