Finger erections

My son is my legal guardian and he is helping me write this post. Remotely.

When I went to Morton Plant Hospital psych ward in Clearwater, Florida, around 2005, after a long, horrible night, I was seen by a neurologist about a problem I was having with thinking that I was sticking my finger up people’s asses in the supermarket line. It was so horribly embarrassing that it just felt like the end and I had already gone to the psych ward there once before over this. Also, I was going through a bizarre grieving experience that night over Cocoa the mouse who had died in the summer of 2003.

Anyway, a neurologist was called in on the psych ward to talk to me and I said something about “finger erections.” I had already been told that I likely suffered from seizures and that probably explained what was happening to me. Over my lifetime.

This represents a part of my life that I don’t want to go near except to say that I read the book “The Child Buyer” (which was for adults) when I was about 10 years old and was terrified. For reasons I did not understand at the time. But do now.

First, I was taken to an abandoned wearhouse, or was it PEHMS? I was never sure then or now. All I know is that I was yelling and screaming my head off in a waiting area and that I was left alone there all night. In the morning two women came in and woke me up and gave me a cigarette. I was scantily clad, no shoes. They drove around for awhile and finally took me to Morton Plant. I felt so crazy as I walked up those stairs to the main entrance of the hospital.

Then, I laid in bed for several weeks terrified that I was going to jail or to a state hospital.

It took weeks to recover after I was released.