One Other Thing

I have been pumped up on STERIODS by a source I did not know for the last two nights.

It cleared my photographic memories plates of all kinds of stuff and got me to say stuff I couldn’t say because my crippled nervous and skeletal system is so compromised it is difficult to get the words out. I did appreciate this.

It is difficult to give a picture of how I really am inside if my father has a video of me when I was looking for a can-opener two and a bit years ago in the cottage before I saw the alien (or thought I did)–I once saw a dinosaur after watching Jurassic Park–did they pump me up with something after I left St. Luke’s Philhaven???

it took me fifteen minutes at least of wandering skittishly back and forth to find the can-opener. I was in such a physically broken and nervous state. Now I am simply crumpled. I probably need to take steroids. Which would reduce my life expectancy from a year to six months. (I am just guessing.) Crumpled doesn’t really explain it. It sorta looks like Parkinson’s, and that is what I was diagnosed with, along with Tourette’s syndrome, in CA when I was carrying Ian. In other words, this condition was already setting in way back then and has deeply progressed. brokenness. There’s a song… my nerves and bones (my spine)…muscle spasms… “is what i long for…”