bugaboos

I LOOK like a schiz but I am not one.

I had a seizure disorder from the trauma in rhe ICU in ’86.

Tegretol helped but had awful side effects.

I lost my words; I lost my math. I scrawled down on a sheet of paper, “I am too broken to write.”

Now i have the habits of a life-long invalid without help worsened by the generalized presence of malpractice in the United States.

I was diagnosed with likely partial complex seizudes by a psychiatrist in Texas but I couldn’t follow up because Alex and I had to leave for California.

This has been the crux of my illness ever since.

I started “studying” the “likely seizures” and slipped inside my own world of pain. Shooting pains in my head. Hysterical paralysis, i would freeze, unable to move. I couldn’t function at all.

Then, all of a sudden I was pregnant.

So, first, I pulled something in my right hip.

All these years later I have “ICD sciatica,” a “disorder of my reflexes.”

Also, a hearing problem that was crippling. I could hear everyone in a crowd having different conversations all around me. For instance, at the airport, and trains, ambulances, police sirens miles away.

And with this combination of forces a working against me (AND the “mole-wart), i experienced horrific problems with “illegal boarding procedures” by people who wanted to harm me.

I became a paranoid wreck.

I can only pray to be safe where I am.

Can you imagine how bad this all was for my son?!!!