emancipation

Today I have emancipated myself from my family who never loved me.

I practiced at age 16, when I ran away from home in Summit, New Jersey, gaining the lifelong ire of my father, who met me with a comeuppance I couldn’t possibly understand at that age, and still can’t. Recently, we called it “the breast-touching.” But, he actually didnt, just tried.

They say, don’t try to figure an abuser, just get away.

Which I did. Too weak to join the army. So, I went to Harvard instead, what else could I have done? I was screwed.

My mother, similarly, was never a friend.

So, I determined to be a writer and pursued that course (“a writer writes.”)

But, I became disabled instead; married, and had a kid.

When Ian was born I was encouraged to write again.

Something went wrong in the year 2000 with a lost email to Judith and Bernard, i pushed the wrong button in s seriously important and also long email that I couldnt get back. That sort of thing doesnt happen any more!

We were already in enmity but I hit a weird note after that and things never came back together. I moved off of them but they entered my mind through illegal boarding procedures in 2003 with my ending up at a psych ward in Tampa and their getting the psychiatrist to get a commitment so that they could get a legal guardian to permit my mother to talk with them. It was just so, so horrible.

I have never been the same since then.

She had done this to me so many times in my life.

This was the worst.

Alex (my ex) jusy never got it about them (my parents, Judith and Bernard).

I think that now he does!!!