no regular coffee
no cigarettes
In the Cottage at my father’s place, after telling me that He marked me “TRUSTED,” the Lord said to me that my smoking was “unguent and appealing” to him. This restored my confidence in myself and I have been able to leave the hospital without a smoking flareup–through God’s plan–as we can only smoke outside here.
The boom on smoking needs to swing back. in moderation, it is a lovely pleasure and part of American heritage (the native American peace pipe.)
At TBH, they broke my wire to God.
I realized that there is a physical location of our spirituality.
They broke me.
But I got out alive, barely.
It’s been two weeks and two days. Today, it feels like the distant past.
And I have restored my connection to Ian, my son, which was the worst if it, through all this, I understand what HIS life has been like as I have gone through my pain. The sight of his face, so dear, when he came to visit blew my mind! that he was okay! That was well over a week ago, it took until today to realize that everything is going to be okay. i can stay here for a while.
I am getting back my “wire to God” (Carlo Caretto, “Letters From the Desert”).
The tide is finally turning after so very, very many years.
As regards sm9king, I do worry about how the smoking affected Ian. I barely smoked after the 3rd month of pregnancy but picked it up again once he was born; quit for a year in 2002 to 2003, wound up on a short term psych ward for 3 months. When I got out, the smokimg escalated to FOUR PACKS A DAY for FOUR YEARS. MY son had to go to boarding school.
So, I am wary of thoughts of quitting because of what it has led to in the past. You just have to keep it to LESS than a pack a day. That is the rule for me.
Un.Bon.Mot 