literature

I was so desperate for beauty in my life.

I found it in literature.

I had a high school English teacher (boarding school) who took an interest in me. He and his wife were my teachers for 3 out of 4 years.

I talked to him in my head. I would go to see him at his home on the girls’ campus to have coffee and sit quietly saying nothing.

I wrote a beautiful story about him Freshman year in college in a fiction writing course. Of course, I wanted to be a writer.

I met someone somewhat like him at the undergraduate literarary magazine. I had instantly fallen in love with the place and became infatuated with him.

It all turned out to be a disaster.

Years, decades later I broke with this person in a blog post, that would be about 10 years ago. i realize now that it WAS the right thing to do. But I almost lost my life over it through a major suicide attempt.

“Drive until you lose the road…break with the ones you follow” (The Fray, “How to Save a Life”)