pain-taking

I won't do it any more. I fight back. I remember saying a long time ago that In the 80's it was about "farming out the pain." my father used to say it. my pain at that time was future-oriented. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. 8n 5he … Continue reading pain-taking →

Alien world

I'm a thinkling. that's my status in alien world. humble and small. recently I heard "walk in love" on the radio and I adored this expression. we humans on this earth during this pandemic are thinklings walking in love. we have been led to question some certain basic things about our society. surely the Lord … Continue reading Alien world →

Abortion

I remember looking up at my brother Steven as we were standing on the beach in Cape May. At that time I didn't know what the feeling was. TERRIFIED; he was the father of my child. It's finally coming out. We were in the boat. They had me drive. I felt like everybody could see … Continue reading Abortion →

New blog up and running

Un.Bon.Mot. I like it. I've been transitioning... I've been making a change here as reflected in the site title and also simultaneously it reflects the huge change in my life now free of nasty wart-mole. buying furniture and appliances as necessary for this place is fun! I was living as a cave creature. I have … Continue reading New blog up and running →

okay okay okay

last year, before the last year that I spent in the hospital, my father, who was in a strange state after losing my mother, was puttIng me through little poisonings, generally of take-home fast food. Once I woke up in the middle of the night with diarrhea and i heard him say t o me … Continue reading okay okay okay →

things happen

Steve. Moved to manhattan; a divorce, an apparent suicide. Maybe we'll never know. me. 5 suicides 4 dead babies. too much. there's no comeback from this but I do enjoy the more normal habits of daily living that I have here which I never observed before in my life and I am grateful to my … Continue reading things happen →

actual alien encounter

it Is my duty to report what I have seen. I am taking all of the medications provided by my psychiatrist. when I was out in the woods... I don't remember it clearly or in sequence but I have the voice now to say what happened to me. I had forgotten a lot but now … Continue reading actual alien encounter →

the truth at last

my mother is still living. they went their separate ways. it is no business of mine. but some aspects of the situation are. for 2 1/2 years I have not been told when everyone else knew. today I had the weirdest sense that I was communicating with her about how you have to clean up … Continue reading the truth at last →

ADULTERY

I don't know anything about adultery because I don't know anything about sex. 8 just listened to the song by Elton John, Sacrifice, which I heard so often in the hospitalnon the nurses station radio; then earlier I n looked it up and I saw that I hadn't understood it at all. I listened to … Continue reading ADULTERY →

My Workstation

11th