the Advocate

So, at Harvard things were upside down. I finally found my place with other smokers on the undergraduate literary magazine, The Harvard Advocate. I met a man there who rocked my socks. He brought to mind the high school English teacher. Mr. Gould (now decesased) at Kent School, with whom I had been completely obsessed … Continue reading the Advocate →

California

Ian, im sitting here thinking out college. It took a lifetime to figure out the social bs mostly because of being English. And because of grandads hi-tech job. I had to go to a major university to field my needs and to fit in but I wasnt really prepared for it. So, today, I am … Continue reading California →

About Adam

My father runs me. I used to be horribly concerned about this because of my sexual immaturity and his. Friend Robyn in Florida showed me and ex husband Alex that "everybody is a pervert!" lol!!!. He said he and his automechanic buddies cracked weird jokes all day long at the shop. We were all totally … Continue reading About Adam →

Old Friends

Amy, I'm reminded to ask you, I am in trouble over a Harvard/BU joke I told to Marcy when we were spending a lot of time together in the Boston area after graduation. Actually I am in a lot of trouble over jokes, I always loved a clever joke and people were always telling me … Continue reading Old Friends →

Domino; email to my son

Ian, I suddenly see this whole, lifelong situation clearly. Frank and Grandad came over here to the United States on a honeymoon on a lark. At least, that was what Grandma thought. Grandad told me he knew he wanted to stay in America. People always confided in me. I was like a receptacle for secrets, … Continue reading Domino; email to my son →

Remark

23 years ago I did a stupid thing. I sent a letter to an old friend with some photographs and used a nasty word about a group of people in my life. "Barracudas," I think that that was it. There was some nasty stuff going on at Harvard when I was there over Men's clubs, … Continue reading Remark →

Portal

I wrote a story about Adam and sent it off to Barbara after my son was born and we had moved, in a panic, from Buffalo to Germantown, Maryland. We started out in California on a farm managers house on an orange ranch. The rroom where our son would have stayed was filled full of … Continue reading Portal →

Special Psychiatrist

I wanted to acknowledge a very special psychiatrist in Florida whom I wasnt able to appreciate at the time, Dr. Alan Feldman. When I met him I had fled rhe house in Seminole with my sons pet mouse. My mother had come to the house to take my son because I was off my meds … Continue reading Special Psychiatrist →

Small One

Racing from the sludge of my 17 year total stoppage lower GI disorder to a place in my fathers heart; apart from one another. I recollected earlier today. the moment Thanksgiving day at the house in Seminole Things were so desperate. I didnt know whether It was my father who was speaking to me orthe … Continue reading Small One →

Words; Sudden Death

Tonight I am posting my way out of the weirdest and most important single moment of my life. I told my father earlier in the day that I was watching the 2015 Steve Jobs biography movie; at that moment--of course--I didnt know how it ended. It ends with a beautiful reconciliation between Jobs and his … Continue reading Words; Sudden Death →