Judaism

Am I Jewish on my mother's side? I wish I could verify this in some way. There were so many things that seemed to lean in this direction. I settled to embrace that I am but I have no Jewish formation (that is a Catholic word so...?) )? Is this rude to Jews who practice … Continue reading Judaism →

Abt My Mother

I have to beg for indulgence toward her, I am thinking that she is still living. Please remember the picture I painted of her that I saw of her in my mind, running through a deep forest in a flowered dress terrified of being skinned alive by natives. It was so horrifying to me. I … Continue reading Abt My Mother →

Mother Advocate Finally Rests

no more wars Actually this would be how I was AFTER I recovered from my stay at the Horsham Clinic last year, at that time I was the "core on two stilts, a face neither man now woman; and how the ALIEN4 (thats what I called him at the beginning) turned me into a flesh … Continue reading Mother Advocate Finally Rests →

Angel or ALIEN

just one tiny ignorant little worm at the heart of this. but... the most spectacular vast wings of light, multiplex, crystalline, the size of a few buildings but on outer space terms. poised in the sky in my mind Friend or foe?

Romans 3:23

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." My crimes have been mental and relational, in other words, I have hurt people. I have drawn hatred upon myself for not knowing better, and persisting in it. Like "the claw"--recently. I don't really remember and I don't know whether I didn't quit … Continue reading Romans 3:23 →

Worth 900,000,000

lawsuit against Johns Hopkins University Hospital Affective Disorders Unit September 1994 documented in 7 pictures. thats it.

cats, ALIENS, saints, & angels

they're all real. i dont kniw whuchbus more impirtant. that cats are special beings; that Saints livr in Hewv3n snd havecspecialbp I wersbto in5e4dedevfor us; that angels are Heaf r bs Suoerpowers, also real4; and that ALIENS live ajongbud wndvshow th3mselv3s sometimes. im jot oermitt3dvtobedit thu (either ALIENSPEAK or WordPress wont let m

college personal essay, contd (see last post)

Then, I spent weeks writing about eight applications to all the top colleges. It was a work of love. I sent them just a few days before the due date which was January 1st. And I attached the essay to every one regardless of the question. The Yale interviewer said Yale probably wouldn't take me … Continue reading college personal essay, contd (see last post) →

hints and memories

i remember sitting n my bed in high school boarding school) eating candy from the machine, and being in SO MUCH PAi h i have finally figured this out. it was like an overwhelmingly intense ache, an unbearable feeling of absence... OBVIOUSLY, I had had an abortion just as i thought. Dunno about the timing … Continue reading hints and memories →

embarrassment

Sometimes one bad thing solves something worse/ I ran to the front door in my skivvy nighty with a corduroy short covering it because I was waiting for a delivery that I was afraid my father would refuse the delivery. He was stuck out back and didn't have time to do anthing. It is a … Continue reading embarrassment →