Trap

It's one thing if I get myself into a sick trap, I can handle it. My brother and I practiced this when we were young. I do NOT want to be responsible for putting my old friend A in one. Please understand this. My father had guilt issues over not being a soldier in WWII. … Continue reading Trap →

Lack of Training in America

Lord, help us all with our lack of training in America, especially with our words! We come here from other countries trying to fit in. I felt lethargic and stupid and left out at best, an ugly mess at worst. What is the American language? It is constantly being redefined. There is money in this. … Continue reading Lack of Training in America →

Mother Advocate Finally Rests

no more wars Actually this would be how I was AFTER I recovered from my stay at the Horsham Clinic last year, at that time I was the "core on two stilts, a face neither man now woman; and how the ALIEN4 (thats what I called him at the beginning) turned me into a flesh … Continue reading Mother Advocate Finally Rests →

moving on

grqa What a day! My life has turned around on an apex I could never have seen coming. My son is talking. I had a horrible life up until his age, when I met his father. Then although it felt horrible it was beautiful. I thought I had the most beautiful mother in the world … Continue reading moving on →

Kent School, Connecticut

We used to vacation at Lake Waramaug near New Preston, CT, and my parents discovered that there was a boarding school nearby. It was about a minute before whey decided to A send us to boarding school and B be definitely interested in Kent, especially because of the equestrian program. In other words, my mother … Continue reading Kent School, Connecticut →

train tracks

the tears I've cried would leave traintracks down my face if I had ever been able to actually cry them. There's a freight train that runs through this vicinity, it runs about 400 yards from our home. It runs throughout the day and night. Not TOO often. I have finally got the hang of it. … Continue reading train tracks →

A poem for the Queen

i will miss you i already do. Its all out in the cold for us now, a warm, loving presence that we took for granted for so long has gone away to her eternal rest and i am left sitting downstairs where there is no heat On a ricketty old rattan chair at my son's … Continue reading A poem for the Queen →

her majesty the queen; Elizabeth II: a poem

I met with her a decade and a half ago when I first started blogging. In my mind she came to my house to check on me because I had been writing on this site the divine anointment of royalty; specifically, Her. That the idea had gone out of style but should be brought back. … Continue reading her majesty the queen; Elizabeth II: a poem →

Missing my ex

it took 10 years to be out of the relationship. I needed to change. I sent him emails every day and asked if it was okay. Every 3 months or so I got a one- word reply: "Yes." but I was very ill. I had a relationship in college that scratched the surface of where … Continue reading Missing my ex →

Me and my son incarcerated

a special person goes to jail I couldn't bear the thought. Meanwhile, i was incarcerated on an extended acute care unit after a horrible overdose and I couldn't do anything to help. I think that we are slowly losing those years (for the good). I just realized what used to happen to me when I … Continue reading Me and my son incarcerated →