a short life in pictures

Me, at 13, a nerd Kent Scool graduation 1979. I don't know where I am in this picture but I know that I was lost. It was a sad day for me. But the parties up and down the northeast coast for the next few weeks were thrilling. almost as exciting as graduating (a year … Continue reading a short life in pictures →

gaslighting

I just looked up the meaning of this expression the other day .and I finally understand what has going on. Its a specialized form of harassment and persecution. I just looked it up again to be sure of myself. it is of concern to the American Psychological Assocation and it is described as the manipulation … Continue reading gaslighting →

pain-taking

I won't do it any more. I fight back. I remember saying a long time ago that In the 80's it was about "farming out the pain." my father used to say it. my pain at that time was future-oriented. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. 8n 5he … Continue reading pain-taking →

in the wake of the Queens death…

it's been a jumbled up time. I was in the midst of buying appliances and everything down to a freestanding countertop to make the place truly livable. I have been stuck here for 4 years in a condition I now recognize was abominable. Where there is no supporting physical structure, your mind, heart body and … Continue reading in the wake of the Queens death… →

Finally!

it is clear to me and if I'm wrong then Im wrong, that my mother IS STILL LIVING. and that my brother IS NOT. they were able to match his teeth to his dental records. my mourning, then, was not ridiculous and if he is still out there and he's laughing this off he's a … Continue reading Finally! →

iron might

I always remembed our visit to Fountains Abbey in England when I was 14. it was like you could see knights in armor on horseback crashing in from their last quest. I returned to Kent School, a boarding school based on the English system and founded by a Monk. I can't remember now which order, … Continue reading iron might →

About Aliens

oh and one other thing about paintaking and aliens. from my next to last post they selected me for this: how much pain an ordinary human being could suffer without breaking, my father and his cohorts were doing this to me thriugh acutely frustrating me with my laptop.before I left at the threat of gunpoint … Continue reading About Aliens →

breakaway

They are controlling me. Issues Been doing it for a long time. My father sells it. I just heard a little two-tone chime in my left ear like the recurrent pretty chime the tablet sends out regularly. Now I really know. I also know to honor my father (and mother). I also know to stand … Continue reading breakaway →

commitment

That word can mean such nice things. but it can also mean being placed involuntarily in a psychiatric setting. I have been running from this word for 42 years. I will follow the Lord.

the Queen

Her Highnes Queen Elizabeth has asked me to withdraw from public debate.