Betrayal

I finally found out that my sister seduced my husband. I always knew she dissed me to him. So, she never knew it but for that reason I dissed her to her old boyfriend's sister--the one who "ate condiments for food"--when we were out on the patio smoking that Thanksgiving that his family came here … Continue reading Betrayal →

Eyes

Ian, love, i remember your poor little eyes. I didnt know! Little newborn babies have wobbly eyes! I thought rhat something was wrong because I couldnt look into your eyes and I was afraid I harmed you by trying to engage your eyes. And then, something terrible happened, you fell and hit the corner of … Continue reading Eyes →

Remedying the Past

It inheres in the present in so many ways. Im starting with Sasha, the poor little cat who walked up from the edge of the road to a little pet house on the porch beside my mothers kitchen. Only 8 or 10 weeks old. That was around 2006. After my mothers death last year (2020), … Continue reading Remedying the Past →

Prayers Proved Through

So, at the state hospital, WSH, at the end, on rhe Lodge Program ward, I was carrying on a lovely relationship with 3 men about my own age--mid 20s. We regularly ordered pizza and Greek salad from the Italian restaurant nearby in the highway at the end of the lane, using our workshop pay. For … Continue reading Prayers Proved Through →

Twin Trajectories

So, I was moving along on a two-pronged ride. My father and my ex had me in their pockets and I couldnt stop how I was being forced to move. So, I have been blogging, texting, posting, and emailing myself out of this hole; and praying: back to back novenas to St. Jude and St. … Continue reading Twin Trajectories →

Mercy killings

I feel like Ive been on death row for 35 years for a crime that I never committed. After a childhood when I was held for things I couldnt help. My parents did something bizarre. They fled here from high society Summit, New Jersey and stuck their heads in the sand, leaving me at the … Continue reading Mercy killings →

The British Royalty

Underlying everything else that is going here is the effects of a long ago love affair in Britain in the 1940s. It was one of many reasons that I was held at Harvard despite everything. For reasons of Society. Which I wont belabor here. But, the sad fact is that, in the 2010s, at our … Continue reading The British Royalty →

1982

The year of my Advocate presidency. The Advocate was the undergraduate literary magazine at Harvard. How I got involved with that is a sordid story and how it went for me is worse. I went to Harvard on a wing and a prayer. I wrote my college application personal essay about running away from home. … Continue reading 1982 →

Turning over a new leaf

That about says it. I have; I am. I realized that I had a terrible, even insulting habit of negativity in my everyday speech. I rapidly was able to let go of this, once I saw it. with the Lords help. Since then, I have been making all kinds of positive strides. So, as I … Continue reading Turning over a new leaf →

Finale, 2

At the house in Summit, New Jersey, my little sister--8 years younger--told me she had a dream that she was drowning in mud. I took rhis very seriously as I was deeply engaged in ineffectually pursuing imaginary psychoanalysis based on the book, "August" that my psychotherapist had given me to read. It was about a … Continue reading Finale, 2 →