the truth at last

my mother is still living. they went their separate ways. it is no business of mine. but some aspects of the situation are. for 2 1/2 years I have not been told when everyone else knew. today I had the weirdest sense that I was communicating with her about how you have to clean up … Continue reading the truth at last →

A break in the clouds

as the confusion gradually resolves I am clearing a lot of bull that I have held onto for what seems like centuries. first of all my sister has her own issues and should be attending to them not me. That's about all I have to say on that account at this time. But I have … Continue reading A break in the clouds →

Feeling better

slept in until 10 after a large meal of red chicken Thai curry las5 night. It was exactly what I needed. I have been following the prompts and paying attention as to what to do to fix myself and finally I have left it all in the Lords's hands. This was ugly. moving forward with … Continue reading Feeling better →

things as they used to be

something sinister in the works I am a turnaround artist. Alway was. also a Libra. I can't tolerate conflict. as a child i was obsessed with fairness. as an adult I was susceptible to rage reactions. got tasered in Florida, the Lord bounced me on my head and flipped me right side up again. I … Continue reading things as they used to be →

junk

preparing for junk removal. this couch I'm not sure of. Right now I'm not sure of anything. If they take everything it will be a shock. This couch is still pretty sturdy, just has ripped up arm rests from so many cats. and I have two cats. Waiting on the jumk removal pros to call. … Continue reading junk →

aliens

alien4 has been with me, also the Correctional Officer, to help me through this transition back to the real world. That's my level.through this, alien5 has been able to enter to help my father, I am looking for my drawing of him. Oh, I know, It sounds perfectly insane, but it is what it is. … Continue reading aliens →

so…

it's finally come down to this. I knew it all my life. My father had problems he couldn't solve. I knew it as a little girl when I tugged at his sleeve trying to get attention from him. I knew it when he called me up at the Lodge Program at Wernersville State Hospital askng … Continue reading so… →

Sister problems

she's going to be here any time now. she is going to try to have me committed. I am still sick from the shit sandwich and in my nighty all day, canceled with the ACT Team. helps me stay off my knee. I don't know what's wrong but it hurts like mad. want to be … Continue reading Sister problems →

Specialness

when I lived here in the 80's (I identified as Berks County), there were 4 diagnoses: major depression, manic depression, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder. I always remember that poor fellow with horrible OCD being thrown out of the partial program that I was attending. Since then, things have changed. But those memories are indelible. … Continue reading Specialness →

Philhaven

is worse than Wernersville. my father doesn't care which one he sends me to, he just wants a win. I set him a task without meaning to. he said stop proselytizing to me. Christians are odious for how they won't leave you alone when you have no interest in their faith. Hundreds of times he … Continue reading Philhaven →