Finale

The ultimate blog post; the 40-year procrastination list resolved. Numerous 40 year trajectories coming together as one all at once. I have posted numerous times in the last few days and it has led to a real watershed and the denouement of the most important struggle of my life. In a nutshell, I was stranded … Continue reading Finale →

Drugs

That's what it comes down to. My brother, who has died, said that I was the worst drug addict he knew. Since I was 21 I have been the victim of a thrall with psych meds misprescribed. It was a 3 part question. First, the prescriver was not competent to treat me 2 times over … Continue reading Drugs →

The truth is always better than a lie

My father thinks that I want to have sex with him. He thinks that all women secretly desire to have a sex with him. Maybe all men are like that. I couldnt know, because of my injured clit from being kneed in the crotch as a child. In college I hit my boyfriend on the … Continue reading The truth is always better than a lie →

Dentist, updated

At the state hospital, the first time, after the nearly fatal overdose, I took a vow of poverty. I was so I was so impressed with the beauty of this place and the loving community out in rhe rural wilds beyond Reading, PA on the way to Lancaster. There was a beautiful old park; the … Continue reading Dentist, updated →

Performance Art

Performance art. That was something that went by with the 80s as I remember it. But that's was where I continued to inhere all these years pending ongoing psychoanalysis attaching to my old psychoanalyst in Cambridge. Mass., whom I touched based with now and again over the decades that followed after leaving. The 80s. I … Continue reading Performance Art →

Phone Preference

I figured out a lot of things by realizing that I was a "hi-tech brat." I had a college roommate who was a self-proclaimed "faculty brat;" "similar to a military brat." The issue of "phone preference" came up with her. My father was a hi-tech professional and was also an AT&T employee and my mother's … Continue reading Phone Preference →

Update to last night’s post, “Misperception vs. Reality”

I became a stalker in South Central Florida. I posted about the Nurse Practitioner gyn person; we were pleasantly "invited" to Florida with a good job offer, but after we got there we were beaten all to hell. It was me of course. In my mind I was still dealing with the diffIcult and deleterious … Continue reading Update to last night’s post, “Misperception vs. Reality” →

Misperception versus reality

So, in Florida I tried to see a gynecologist in about the 3rd year we were there. I saw a sign, I dont now remember where, saying "A Place for Women." So, I called them up. I went in for my appointment; I filled out the paperwork. For the "date of my last gyn visit" … Continue reading Misperception versus reality →

About Dr. Boutin in Fla

I had a lovely, childlike romance with Dr. Boutin that was forged out of my insecurity and pain. I didnt even want that. It was all very confusing. The moment I first saw him it was like I saw a ghost: slim, elegant, good-looking, well-dressed male psychotherapist I was reeling from the blow of a … Continue reading About Dr. Boutin in Fla →

Homewrecker

Eye injury. Tasering. House party. Adultery. She was there for all of it. I tried to stop the relationship between our two families, knowing that it would bring no good. I see her now. She was stalking him all along. And he enjoyed it. All along. Our family didnt have a chance against her. Thats … Continue reading Homewrecker →