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even if its only for 24 hours, right now I feel at peace wirh my father and at home. he went out to buy cigarettes for me down the road; i slept twice today,whatever happens i am glad for this moment. fixed my keyboard to stop the typos. Comparatively. whatever may come, praise the Lord, … Continue reading Home →

A new concept in psych

I hit upon the concept pt of Retroactive Interpolation in psychotherapy and my last post represented a trial of it. After that, or as a part of it, comes proactive proliferation of tthe better future. That's where I was at after getting out of Horsham and comng h9m toa dangerous situation here. That's why all … Continue reading A new concept in psych →

mother & son

[see note at bott9m re typos] it's an indissoluble bond. my new lamp, inbelnownst to me when i ordered it, is called "Torchiere Mother and Son." It just made the whole thing perfect. As this nev situation started out with a project to retroactively heal everything pertaining to my son's 's life from conception to … Continue reading mother & son →

re: inventory at age 60

from a week ago I have to add the 15 years total breakdown from 2003 to 2018 over sick constipation. A doctor in Allentown had the answer in 2018: Miralax. It worked once and then it kept on working. Before going to the hospital this time last year, it stopped working and i was horribly … Continue reading re: inventory at age 60 →

Feldman in Tampa

Sorting things out today. Remembering how he forced me off of my faith. Saying that when I said "jesus" all the time it was just a mantra. This was at Memorial Hospital in Tampa. Im sure people remember, even though it was in 2003. I made a spectacle of myself on his psych ward because … Continue reading Feldman in Tampa →

extermination

I just figured out the word for what my father wants to do to me. He hates me. And has since the moment I was born. all this, point, everything that's going down, is because of his naive immaturity. He's still the same at 90. He needs to go away for a little while, just … Continue reading extermination →

tasering

please note. It 8s my father wasn't much help to me with Ian when he was a child, but the real issue between me and him was the physical damage to me. I dont think he did any physical harm to ian whatsoever. But he bullied him. What we all are experiencing now was in … Continue reading tasering →

inventory at age 60

well now that I have settled the sexual abuse issue--it did happen--I was caught up in the worst season for sexual abuse claims, the early 80's, it was a craze and still is. I just wanted to know exactly what happened and maybe I don't know all of it but I know two key parts … Continue reading inventory at age 60 →

Nervous

n I don't know why. something I did, don't know why. n the Lord won't take it off of me. don't know who I am anything could happen and I might not be ready to handle it. water over the bridge that oughtn't to have been. after a lifetime or half of one I screwed … Continue reading Nervous →

gaslighting

I just looked up the meaning of this expression the other day .and I finally understand what has going on. Its a specialized form of harassment and persecution. I just looked it up again to be sure of myself. it is of concern to the American Psychological Assocation and it is described as the manipulation … Continue reading gaslighting →