pain-taking

I won't do it any more. I fight back. I remember saying a long time ago that In the 80's it was about "farming out the pain." my father used to say it. my pain at that time was future-oriented. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing. 8n 5he … Continue reading pain-taking →

MH World

Roe v Wade is down. My personal interests in that regard are personal now. Re racism: yeverywhere I go I see black men and women happy and in recovery. the cause that I thought would be my last is now first. When first asked, I disdained. That was on a psych ward in Tampa where … Continue reading MH World →

Abortion

I remember looking up at my brother Steven as we were standing on the beach in Cape May. At that time I didn't know what the feeling was. TERRIFIED; he was the father of my child. It's finally coming out. We were in the boat. They had me drive. I felt like everybody could see … Continue reading Abortion →

commitment

That word can mean such nice things. but it can also mean being placed involuntarily in a psychiatric setting. I have been running from this word for 42 years. I will follow the Lord.

things happen

Steve. Moved to manhattan; a divorce, an apparent suicide. Maybe we'll never know. me. 5 suicides 4 dead babies. too much. there's no comeback from this but I do enjoy the more normal habits of daily living that I have here which I never observed before in my life and I am grateful to my … Continue reading things happen →

A break in the clouds

as the confusion gradually resolves I am clearing a lot of bull that I have held onto for what seems like centuries. first of all my sister has her own issues and should be attending to them not me. That's about all I have to say on that account at this time. But I have … Continue reading A break in the clouds →

the heart of the irony

...in the mental health system nationwide is so simple. Has anybody commented on this before? I saw this when I was at Philhaven watching someone have his rights explained to him while he was signing in. what on Earth is the meaning of a piece of paper signed by a person reporting himself to any … Continue reading the heart of the irony →

Specialness

when I lived here in the 80's (I identified as Berks County), there were 4 diagnoses: major depression, manic depression, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder. I always remember that poor fellow with horrible OCD being thrown out of the partial program that I was attending. Since then, things have changed. But those memories are indelible. … Continue reading Specialness →

up to date

"I love this place. It cradles my energy." --"God's Poster Child for the Pro-Life Cause" I am in a state of transition, pulling through 30 years of a marriage that was already confusion. this is the most reasonable and true representation of my current status I can give. the problem is, after 6 weeks of … Continue reading up to date →

vague

what happened to me at the hospitals in Reading and near Lebanon, looking back, was some sort of occult possession--in the demonic sense-- of both myself and every other person involved. it was related to the ghoul that I became 35 years ago after a minor overdose that almost took my life. Since then I … Continue reading vague →