About Harvard

Finally its past tense. I am held there now for hurting men. Because of the malpractice early in MY psych care that started on my leave of absence half way through my senior year, this never got addressed as it should have been. There was a very real reason for this abuse of men and … Continue reading About Harvard →

About Evil

I posted yesterday about my baby's poor little eyes, how I was afraid I hurt him. Something evil happened. I loved him so much. He was like a little angel, gleaming pure white. He had almost died when he was born. But to me everything about him was so beautiful but, I couldnt pick him … Continue reading About Evil →

Betrayal

I finally found out that my sister seduced my husband. I always knew she dissed me to him. So, she never knew it but for that reason I dissed her to her old boyfriend's sister--the one who "ate condiments for food"--when we were out on the patio smoking that Thanksgiving that his family came here … Continue reading Betrayal →

Eyes

Ian, love, i remember your poor little eyes. I didnt know! Little newborn babies have wobbly eyes! I thought rhat something was wrong because I couldnt look into your eyes and I was afraid I harmed you by trying to engage your eyes. And then, something terrible happened, you fell and hit the corner of … Continue reading Eyes →

Remedying the Past

It inheres in the present in so many ways. Im starting with Sasha, the poor little cat who walked up from the edge of the road to a little pet house on the porch beside my mothers kitchen. Only 8 or 10 weeks old. That was around 2006. After my mothers death last year (2020), … Continue reading Remedying the Past →

Prayers Proved Through

So, at the state hospital, WSH, at the end, on rhe Lodge Program ward, I was carrying on a lovely relationship with 3 men about my own age--mid 20s. We regularly ordered pizza and Greek salad from the Italian restaurant nearby in the highway at the end of the lane, using our workshop pay. For … Continue reading Prayers Proved Through →

Twin Trajectories

So, I was moving along on a two-pronged ride. My father and my ex had me in their pockets and I couldnt stop how I was being forced to move. So, I have been blogging, texting, posting, and emailing myself out of this hole; and praying: back to back novenas to St. Jude and St. … Continue reading Twin Trajectories →

Mercy killings

I feel like Ive been on death row for 35 years for a crime that I never committed. After a childhood when I was held for things I couldnt help. My parents did something bizarre. They fled here from high society Summit, New Jersey and stuck their heads in the sand, leaving me at the … Continue reading Mercy killings →

The British Royalty

Underlying everything else that is going here is the effects of a long ago love affair in Britain in the 1940s. It was one of many reasons that I was held at Harvard despite everything. For reasons of Society. Which I wont belabor here. But, the sad fact is that, in the 2010s, at our … Continue reading The British Royalty →

1982

The year of my Advocate presidency. The Advocate was the undergraduate literary magazine at Harvard. How I got involved with that is a sordid story and how it went for me is worse. I went to Harvard on a wing and a prayer. I wrote my college application personal essay about running away from home. … Continue reading 1982 →