Prophets

It's about abortion. "I am the king of the world." "My name is David SON, S-U-N of GOD." I was constantly going to writing a novel called "Voices," I just liked the sound of that title. "My name is power." Uh hmm. (This is a patient from the state hospital speaking through me over the … Continue reading Prophets →

MO

Its the newer anti psychotic med that has been causing all this for me. What a horrible night. Left at 7 a.m. without even taking my meds. Drove around all day for 5 hours. Didn't even feed the poor cats. So, I was thinking, maybe I just wont even go back. And, I realized I … Continue reading MO →

The Biggest Lie

I just uncovered the biggest lie of my whole life and it was put there by Satan. Oh my! I made a suicide attempt when I had just turned 22. I was such a child; I didnt know how to do it. So, i tried to get pills. I went to my mother's doctor and … Continue reading The Biggest Lie →

Wondering

As i sift through my past in light of this new information--that my cat's pregnancy back in 85/86 traumatized me FOR A REASON; i am looking back on the stays at the state hospital during 86 to 88 with new insight. I understand that there was a reason for me to be there. The first … Continue reading Wondering →

Cat complex

Posting from my cell phone because this is a sudden, intimate moment. Have been posting momentously, privately. Now, it's about the cats. Because now i see why i was so obsessed over my cat Daisy, getting pregnant when i sent her here from Mass. after relationship with roommate, J. in apartment there broke up in … Continue reading Cat complex →

Change to “Hello”

Well, since I wrote that a week ago I have been through an abysmal time. Hangover from the holidays + life catching up with me from long ago. Its a good thing. Solving some huge problems; and my mind is telling me that things will be easier from now on. My son in my mind … Continue reading Change to “Hello” →

Hello

Hello! I am returning after a long absence. I have been progressing in my psychotherapy and religion toward a much better place. You will find that my style has greatly changed and will continue to evolve with a total reworking of my mental structures from abysmally complicated (before) to dynamic and complex (now). My psych … Continue reading Hello →

Word to the wise; MIRACLE; 2. Cheating

second post following 4 months tapering off Clozaril, a psych med; and adding Elavil, a tricyclic anti-depressant. In both high school and college I was unfortunately and somewhat unfairly, mistakenly, and erroneously accused of cheating on a boyfriend. And I didn't realize any part of that until years later; even now. In high school, I … Continue reading Word to the wise; MIRACLE; 2. Cheating →

The real truth; word to the wise; 1

Tapering off Clozaril; resuming a tricyclic anti-depressant after 25 years After 4 months, my whole life is falling back into place. A MIRACLE is happening. No, I was not suicidal at Harvard in Fall 1982 when my roommates complained to the senior tutor and he marched me over to community mental health services. When I … Continue reading The real truth; word to the wise; 1 →

Fatal Accident

My brother suffered a fatal accident. He made a suicide attempt, jumping off a cliff in his beloved Hawaii. I am reassured by the Lord that in the 10 seconds or so that he had to think about it, he changed his mind; but there was nothing he could do to stop the downward fall. … Continue reading Fatal Accident →