I'm putting up all these posts and people are visiting but noone is liking! And my son isnt responding to my texts and my ex isnt answering my emails and neither is my Dad! It's like a tidal wave, everything has gone blind as if my brother in Heaven has sent a tidal wave from … Continue reading Tidal wave
Category: Mental Journeys
Baby X
An abortion. I am dovetailing my psych history with my pregnancy history. I am seeing that the very things most untoward and despicable in my life were in fact necessary because they were a part of a pregnancy that SHOULD HAVE GONE FORWARD. At the time I was convinced that the abortion was legitimate because … Continue reading Baby X
“Choose Death”
I finally figured out the problem with the "Pro-Choice" misnomer. I didnt understand the wisdom of the anti-abortionist's "Choose Life" handle. The "Choice" is either Life or Death. To have an abortion is not just to exercise Choice; it doesn't stop there; it is ugly. To have an abortion is to Choose Death for your … Continue reading “Choose Death”
Tears of Joy
After 40 years, my parents have fessed up about an unfortunate sexual incident that has been poisoning us in secrecy all these years. It didnt hit me at first. It went down in my psychotherapist's office on Wednesday; today is Saturday. We've been going through the motions since then; waiting for the other shoe to … Continue reading Tears of Joy
It all happened so fast
A paradigm shift. From Boston/Manhattan to Buffalo; 1982 to 1993. Englamerica to Canenglamerica. In 1978 I applied to Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Brown, Colgate, and a few other top Colleges. Yale had the sense to wait list me, after two questionable interviews. I got in everwhere else, on the strength of a phenomenal personal essay about … Continue reading It all happened so fast
Polemic
The National Review article in Yahoo News which I get on my cell phone brought me to a screeching halt. Entitled "The Impeachment Farce Limps Along to Its Anticlmax," it excoriates Democrats for their DISRESPECTFUL attacks on Donald Trump. The attack is rich with vitriol against wrong-minded opponents of the Predident and concludes with this … Continue reading Polemic
My brother who committed suicide
He jumped off a cliff in Hawaii around this time last year. He came to me today in my heart after a difficult appointment with my psychiatrist. I have attempted suicide 5 times since I was 17 (I am 58 now); the last time was really serious. But the Lord never took me. I am … Continue reading My brother who committed suicide
Miracle Day
I have been tapering off Clozaril, a powerful antipsychotic med; and adjusting to Nuplazid, a very gentle new antipsychotic med intended for Parkinsonian patients. It is very expensive and had to be approved by my insurance. I'm not sure whether it was my strange, Parkinsonian-like condition that made the doctor think of it for me, … Continue reading Miracle Day
Stressing
Tonight I drop another 50 mg Clozaril, from 150 mg at bedtime to 100 mg, 50 mg in the a.m. I am reviewing my stresses. I have cut my smoking from 10 to 15 cigarettes a day to 3 to 6; unfortunately i do not have the same success with my weight. I have gained … Continue reading Stressing
Past President Obama
Like I said, the Lord is moving mountains for me through this med change. The snarls from the past are coming undone. In late 2008, after the November election, I wrote an email to President Elect Barak Obama's Transition Team. It was easy to find him online. He wanted his Presidency to be "transparent." I … Continue reading Past President Obama
Un.Bon.Mot 