Yellow Butterfly

Well I was sitting in the garden outside the conservatory, smoking a cigarette; pondering the mysteries. I saw a yellow butterfly flying up high in the trees; not a common sight here. I used to see them in Florida. Here, it reminded me that I am above the animals; specifically, the cats. I have been … Continue reading Yellow Butterfly →

Update

Starting a new med tomorrow that I have been waiting on for 3 weeks. It was approved this morming by my insurance. In the meantime everything is coming out in the wash, i've realized that my mother hated me for being born. She loved her son, her firstborn, and i came too soon after. She … Continue reading Update →

Red, raw eye

There was an updated version of this last post that somehow got lost. I hit the "update" by button and left it aside. Only later did i realize that it hadnt updated; and there was no record in my drafts. This was a terrible loss as this year's bad anniversary was combined with the commemoration … Continue reading Red, raw eye →

Abortion Anniversary

I never see it coming. I was even thinking about it on and off for the last couple of days. Thinking, I seem to be over it (because it usually bothers me). Then, just now, I emailed my ex. It was his child. I thought I was too sick to have the baby. This was … Continue reading Abortion Anniversary →

Back online

Our internet went out. It was the weather! I got a little paranoid but the Lord led me right: to let it go, and then I heard the whole house internet was out, it was the storm. I'm a step ahead! I can get a mobile hotspot in my cellphone. They have silly little flip … Continue reading Back online →

Cut off

I am cut off on my email via no internet on my laptop and no outgoing email on my bn phone. And this post may not make it into print as i have mysteriously lost my last two posts, and cant access my desktop WordPress in my laptop. My guiding voices tell me that the … Continue reading Cut off →

Fear

Everyone here lives in fear of my mother. We do a dance for her. Even the cats. She is mentally ill and dangerous. I am praying for Jesus to find her and lead her to seek treatment for her lifelong illness. Instead of seeking refuge in mine.

Sorting it out

Well today has been a watershed day, I believe it is called a red letter day; yesterday was the watershed. All of my issues, having been pared and pruned in my book for many months and then laid aside; came together in my mind in a glorious denouement after setting the book aside to "percolate" … Continue reading Sorting it out →

Friday Night Adrift

I am using the BAKE function on my nifty toaster oven for the first time. It is well over 2 1/2 years old but I went into the psych ward in late November of 2016 and I am only now coming out the other side. I've been living here with my mother and father for … Continue reading Friday Night Adrift →

A Letter to Planned Parenthood

FYI This letter was written about terrorists in the Middle East back in 2012 but the comparison with Planned Parenthood bears making as they react to the new anti-abortion legislation. The Parts of a Terrorist (2012-09-13 05:42) First, immaturity, then inability to love. From this is quickly played the desire for glory; then, brainwashing. They … Continue reading A Letter to Planned Parenthood →