Hard psych appointment

Well my book is done so I can come here with my thoughts again. I have to either edit it or jettison it but I came to the end. I have realized that my father fears my book because it asserts the sexual abuse by him in the context of all the other off- beat … Continue reading Hard psych appointment →

Missing cat; brother’s suicide

Well he was spotted near the barn today. Which turns around two weeks of horrible anxiety. My mother kept saying she would like to find the body so that we would know what happened. My brother recently successfully committed suicide so that's where her mind was at. I happened to know--because he was living over … Continue reading Missing cat; brother’s suicide →

Justified

My brother has committed suicide. It's been 4 1/2 months now. We cant get over it. For me, it justifies a lot of things. I was the one who was always attemping suicide. 5 tries. Then, suddenly, this. I didn't know what to think. I finally realized that my patents were feeling desperately guilty. And … Continue reading Justified →

Diet crisis

My mother is creating an uproar over the current status here pursuant to my being up all night off my psych med Clozaril. Meawhile i am seeing an underlying crisis that is really evil. Over the last month or two i have suddenly gained 10 pounds over taking the diabetes medicine Metformin. I started trying … Continue reading Diet crisis →

Living a Disabled Life

My current psychiatrist is severely physically disabled. He is a hunchback I am taking an example from him about how to live the disabled life socially. I am severely physicslly disabled by my sexual injury. It is a psychosexual disability that people pick up on right away. People here are usually pretty nice to me. … Continue reading Living a Disabled Life →

Word to the wise

Its about my ex-sister÷in-law. I cant name her. I just need to rip her face off, that's all. My brother has died. The situation here.is that she is back in touch with my mother. I have guessed--my intuition and surmises tell me--that they are trying to get together and try to implicate me as the … Continue reading Word to the wise →

Whole New Day

Well yesterday i wrote that i was trusting my father again; well on some things, yes; but i opted OUT of trusting him on the moment with the restaurant owner i worked for in high school. He was protecting himself! Because the denouement if the incident at the restaurant included my running away from home, … Continue reading Whole New Day →

Time Out

I am coming here to take a break from a To The Wall situation prevailing since dinner out on Tuesday night. Tonight is Thursday night. I separated the casts for 2 nights; today they are back together and both with me. They are keeping the fighting to a minimum. It was awful, so dire, for … Continue reading Time Out →

A Letter To Planned Parenthood

FYI The Parts of a Terrorist (2012-09-13 05:42) First, immaturity, then, inability to love. From this is quickly playedthe desire for glory; then, brainwashing.They take something familiar, something dear, trusted, to lead you.Then, they teach you not to fear by scaring you half to death in every part—then pulling back just in time—and you are an initiate, a … Continue reading A Letter To Planned Parenthood →

Feline

When they're happy, im happy. Travis and Tanner. They belong to my son. I was getting irritable with them until i realized it hurt their feelings when i walked right by them without paying them any attention. And how much they do that pleases me and helps me. So, if things get tense i pray … Continue reading Feline →