Trial Home Visit: At Home

Well i havent made my home here since the late 80's so its funny to call it home. I identified that i have a purpose here, which is to regain control of my sons life: they took control when they got the ridiculous restraining order in 2000. It permitted me to live at home with … Continue reading Trial Home Visit: At Home →

Trial Home Visit

Its been a gruelling morning. Ever heard the expression, "it doesn't hurt to ask" ? "They can only say no"? My father lives to defy it. I asked for a ride at 10 rather than wait until 2. "Thats a real imposition" my mother started, asnd handed the phone to my father, who continued, "totally … Continue reading Trial Home Visit →

Humdinger of a Day Today

Well i went to sleep immediately after an awesome smoke break last night. I quietly held my place. "Sit tight" i heard my sons voice saying to me in my mind over and over. "Youre the same as anybody else." I went to the sexual malfeasance i threw off of myself from back in the … Continue reading Humdinger of a Day Today →

Lifelong trouble

I just processed that a significant part if my life trouble came from my imprinting on my black roommate my freshman year in high school at Wayland School. I identified as black without realizing it, we were so close. And then at the end of it she said i was prejudiced. I was so confused. … Continue reading Lifelong trouble →

Bad Patch

Hit a bad patch last night after calling my EX husband on his mothers death in 2001, which was the beginning if the end. I was considered to be at fault for the blow up at the house in British Columbia, Canada, that plunged her into death at that time in suspicion and gloom. She … Continue reading Bad Patch →

Relief

The cute mentor took me to my doctors appt, he is a real sweetheart, i love going with him. He had to break it to me that it was an exit visit preparatory for my leaving Sunday, he had to tell ne to ask for all my scrips. In the end thr only relevant fact … Continue reading Relief →

Waiting…

Seems everything's sbout waiting. Right now im waiting for a ride to the doctor who is supposed to clear me of c diff, the gastro intestinal infection that has kept me locked up fir 3 weeks. Not literally, but ive been confined from all activities except smoke breaks and meals. Its been a lonely time. … Continue reading Waiting… →

Problem Solved

Couldnt have worked out better. Miss V cane out 15 minutes late for 400 smoke break all ready for me. But then tbe phone rang while i was smoking my first cigarette: doctor calling to confirm for Monday, which broke up the carefully orchestrated solution. So i dropped everything and walked uo to her explaining … Continue reading Problem Solved →

Walking on Eggshells

Now its just a question of waiting out the seven days until my discharge. No small task: thats 21 meals and 49 smoke breaks. Just had trouble with a smoke break after sleeping through one: its my acute sense of hearing. People think i am deep in thought when actually i am tuned in to … Continue reading Walking on Eggshells →

Alls Well That Ends Well

When one door shuts another one opens. Got a call from my old friend A. who proved through a life long friendship sealed with champagne in the girls room of Majors Dorm at Wayland School graduation morning in May 1979. I always looked back on that with pain for what followed. Now i recall it … Continue reading Alls Well That Ends Well →