black & white

...is irrelevant in this regard. It's going to happen quickly. It's all about the ALIEN project. Of there isn't one, one needs to start. At NASA I couldn't draw a picture because it is a sacred image. But here is one I drew at Philhaven: It was coming through me to reach my father who … Continue reading black & white →

Obama 2008 to 2012

My life was about this. And I didn't get away until Trump gained power. OF COURSE I voted for Trump and sustained him. OF COURSE it was scary when, within moments of Obama's election, about 10 new black sitcoms were released and every black man on every news show smiled interestedly and unexpectedly. I had … Continue reading Obama 2008 to 2012 →

Joann Morris

...a Saint There were a few I named at Haven Hospital Tower Unit in Reading and I just thought of Joann and I absolutely have to say that she was one out of that mysterious time in South Florida. It lasted for a long time. And Shu would want her privacy and Susan and Tammy … Continue reading Joann Morris →

hints and memories

i remember sitting n my bed in high school boarding school) eating candy from the machine, and being in SO MUCH PAi h i have finally figured this out. it was like an overwhelmingly intense ache, an unbearable feeling of absence... OBVIOUSLY, I had had an abortion just as i thought. Dunno about the timing … Continue reading hints and memories →

embarrassment

Sometimes one bad thing solves something worse/ I ran to the front door in my skivvy nighty with a corduroy short covering it because I was waiting for a delivery that I was afraid my father would refuse the delivery. He was stuck out back and didn't have time to do anthing. It is a … Continue reading embarrassment →

A new concept in psych

I hit upon the concept pt of Retroactive Interpolation in psychotherapy and my last post represented a trial of it. After that, or as a part of it, comes proactive proliferation of tthe better future. That's where I was at after getting out of Horsham and comng h9m toa dangerous situation here. That's why all … Continue reading A new concept in psych →

re: inventory at age 60

is there a doctor--a psychiatrist--in Allentown who is willing to see me based on the profile I presented in my last post? please understand that I had a horrible experience the first time I reached out to a psych practitioner and I was never able to help myself after that. Ive been food for fools … Continue reading re: inventory at age 60 →

The Imitation of St Mary Magdelan

I came across this at the Haven Hospital, Reading. I left off with the imitation of Christ that I had done since a teenager. It had such disturbing elements. I thought I had to BE Jesus Christ. I didn't know exactly what form that would take. I started by trying to "take on" other peoples … Continue reading The Imitation of St Mary Magdelan →

insights

my insights come partly from God but mostly from Ian, my son. my father steals them and presents them as his or says that my sister wrote them. he denies that he has any copies of my writing but I have seen them on his desk. this Is the single hardest hit I experience in … Continue reading insights →

okay okay okay

last year, before the last year that I spent in the hospital, my father, who was in a strange state after losing my mother, was puttIng me through little poisonings, generally of take-home fast food. Once I woke up in the middle of the night with diarrhea and i heard him say t o me … Continue reading okay okay okay →